My top nine reasons to become a vampire:

• You always know what’s for dinner.
• You get to have bats for friends.

• You don’t have to cook. Ever.
• You have enough time for all the books (reading and writing them).

• Capes!

• Your house is supposed to be dusty.

• Staying up to see meteor showers is easy.

• You never have to wear sunblock again.
• You are guaranteed to sleep like the dead.

Why I can never be a vampire:

• Given my food sensitivities, I would probably have to interview my victims to find people who hadn’t eaten gluten, dairy, and soy in the last week before I could drink their blood. My friend Sarah pointed out it was much more likely that I would only be able to drink AB- blood. That’s when I realized I am not cut out to be a vampire.

Why do you want to be a vampire?