You may have noticed a lack of posts this summer. My admittedly erratic schedule became non-existent for a while, and this is why: sleep. Or rather, lack of it. Back in the spring, my insomnia got out of control. I was miserable; constantly exhausted, and yet unable to sleep. So I contacted a local sleep specialist and signed up for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia.
When I started therapy at the beginning of July, I told myself I’d return to blogging in September. I thought I would be done with the process after two months, but I was wrong. I’ve definitely made progress — my sleep is slowly improving — but I am far from done, and still exhausted most of the time. It could be another two months before the therapy is complete, and I do not want to wait that long to get back to posting.
With my unpredictable energy levels, one post a week feels like a lot, so I will be writing about some of the things I’ve been up to. The therapy currently requires me to spend less time in bed than I need and I’m not allowed to nap, meaning I’m constantly sleep deprived. I’ve had to find activities to keep me moving that also aren’t too hard for my fuzzy, sleep-deprived brain to handle.
Fortunately, there’s plenty to watch and explore on YouTube, which has been entertaining me since I first started feeling extra-exhausted back in the winter. Unfortunately, YouTube is a rabbit warren of Cool Stuff I Want To Do, adding to my already long list of hobbies and interest.
My sleep therapy projects are teaching me a lot about adapting, lowering the bar, going with the flow, and seizing the day. These seem like skills others might value or need at some point, so I’m going to share my experiences with you. If I can keep my eyes open, that is.
Have you ever been seriously sleep deprived? How did you handle it?
Yes, I have been sleep deprived. And, while it’s nowhere near what you are going through, it does make me intensely miserable. I try to work out to be physically exhausted, but the body isn’t really the problem. It’s the mind that keeps me up with its non-stop ferris wheel of thoughts. So, I try yoga and meditation and if all else fails, I admit that I occasionally resort to sleep aids.
I’m sorry to hear you know what this is like! I too can be really miserable when I haven’t gotten enough rest, so this has been trying indeed. I’m currently doing lots of different things to help me get a better night’s rest, like making sure I’m social, active, and getting sunlight during daylight hours. The few times I have tried chemical sleep aids, I’ve had bad results. For example, Ambien gave me a 24-hour panic attack. So I’m having to find other ways to get my rest.
Kit, did your CPAP experience not work? I’d be interested to learn what you’ve learned about sleep deprivation. Thanks.
The CPAP is working, in that it deals with my sleep apnea episodes. But after six months, I still wasn’t feeling any better, and the quality of my sleep only improved a little. Apparently, I have a whole lot of things going on at once, and it’s proving challenging to peel apart my symptoms to figure out what the real problems are. Fortunately, I have an amazing sleep therapist who is knowledgeable, reasonable, and listens well. I’d be happy to talk to you more about what I’ve learned.