We don’t try to fix a flat tire on a bicycle by beating on it with a baseball bat.
We don’t expect kittens and puppies that are kicked and yelled at to be friendly and out-going.
We don’t think the best way to encourage a seedling to grow tall and strong is to stomp on it and deny it water.
So why do we call ourselves names, punish ourselves for our mistakes, point out our weaknesses instead of our strengths and expect that we will grow, thrive, and heal?
Being tender towards ourselves, caring for ourselves, showing ourselves compassion when we are our most human — these are the things that help us grow. Handling ourselves with love, patience, and understanding, like trainers taming wild horses fresh off the prairie, — that’s how we get stronger.
I have learned in recent years that my faults, the defects that keep me from creating the work I want to do, are not flaws or failures. They are wounds…. Block, the inability to proceed, signals not a defect but a wound exposed; and curiously in our wounds lie our divinity…. healing comes from tenderness. — Sophy Burnham, For Writers Only, p. 191