Indulging my Creative Spirit when I’m Too Tired to Move

Some of my favorite tub time books
Some of my favorite tub time books

It was one of those weekends. I had a lovely vista of two full days without commitments, and a list of bright ideas for how to spend my time. The problem? Not enough energy to follow through.

In the last ten years, I’ve had more than my share of days where I was too tired to have any fun. It happens less frequently now, but it still happens. When I wake up exhausted, I know I will have to re-think my day. I’m lucky to get basic chores done, will probably need a nap, and have to postpone most of the stuff on my list to that magical time know as “later”.

The only problem with this is I have an Inner Child who gets extremely pissed whenever it happens. All work and no play makes her shop for an Uzi. She throws a tantrum, gripes endlessly, and will hold a sit-down strike in which nothing at all gets done because no fun is on the shortened list.

I can explain all I want. “We’re too tired to do much, honey, and this other stuff has to come first.”

When she cries enough, I think about going into the studio anyway. I know from experience just how bad the sewing mistakes can be if I try to quilt when I am too tired. I spend more time ripping out seams than sewing them, and that’s frustrating beyond belief, as well as hard on the fabric

When I’m exhausted, the decision-making that goes with art-making is usually beyond me. I can’t decide what project to work on let alone what to do to it.

She doesn’t care. She wants to play, even though we are practically in a coma.

Fortunately, I have found a way to rest my body and have some fun, too. When the chores are done, I draw a hot bath and pick out an art and craft book to read. Anything works, as long as it is about something I would love to do if only I had the energy. I especially like books about artist journals and sketchbooks, which are full of pictures as well as interesting stories the artists tell with their collages or drawings. It’s not the same as actually making things with my own hands, and I don’t get the healing that comes from goofing around with paint and paper, thread and fabric. But it does feed the part of my soul that’s in danger of wasting away.

When I’m feeling particularly defeated, I read books about nurturing my creative self. Julia Cameron’s book Finding Water is all about perseverance, and I need to hear the stories she tells when I’m back in the “I’ll never have the energy to do this” pit. Spending time reading about other people’s struggles with their creative paths reassures me that I will not always be like this, that there will be days when I do get to play and create, something that cranky Child inside me needs to hear as well.

It’s easy to beat myself up when I have one of these days, but I think it’s better to be kind to myself and indulge in a little vicarious living. Enjoying things I am interested in even though I am not able to participate at that moment myself is a step in the right direction.

Do you ever get too tired to play? How do you live vicariously?

Advertisements

Published by

Kit Dunsmore

Kit Dunsmore has believed in the magic underlying the muggle world since she was a child searching for the Shetland pony pooka she was sure was hiding in her back yard. She learned early on that books were magic doors into other worlds, and that she could revisit a beloved character or place by opening the right book. As she grew, she decided she wanted to make magic with words, too. Today Kit writes about things she loves: poodles and dragons, witches and artists, quirky underdogs and loyal friends. Whether her setting is 6th-century England, the imaginary Twelve Kingdoms, or an art-obsessed version of modern America, magic always finds its way into her story. She enjoys turning fairy tales inside out and watching characters sacrifice everything to reach their goal, but she also believes in happy endings. When she isn't writing, Kit experiences magic by making things with her hands. Over the years, she's made quilts, fabric sculptures, collages, sweaters, and blank books. Her newest interest is learning how to spin her own yarn, a skill guaranteed to strengthen one of her many delusions: that she is a self-sufficient pioneer woman. She also thinks she is a hobbit, a witch, an artist, and a good cook. Living in the foothills of Colorado, Kit enjoys the giant skies and prairie landscapes which suit her need for wide open spaces. In addition to hiking through glorious scenery with her husband or imagining herself living in the Middle Ages, Kit works as a pillow for her miniature poodle and polishes the next small piece of her handmade life.

One thought on “Indulging my Creative Spirit when I’m Too Tired to Move”

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s