There Is No Balance

balanceJFBquote

I’ve been off-balance all week. It started with an overly busy weekend and being short on sleep, then got complicated by my husband’s sudden illness. The doctor warned us Kurt could wind up in the hospital. We spent one tense night waiting to see if the antibiotics they gave him would result in enough improvement to keep him out of the ER. Fortunately, the drugs finally kicked in. Kurt’s still sick, but feeling much better, and recovering at home.

Despite the distractions, I’ve been trying to write. Trying means exactly what you think: failing. But I keep coming back, putting in the time in the hopes that I will make at least a little progress. I’m tempted to lose myself completely in the distractions life is throwing my way and the soporific summer heat. Hobbits want a second breakfast; I want to hibernate twice a year — winter and summer.

A friend of mine made a great comment about balance that rings true to me right now:

There is no such thing as balance, just rotating catastrophes. — Judy Fort Brenneman

Life feels like a lot of urgent chores right at the moment and balance is nowhere in sight. This morning, I realized just how overwhelmed I’m feeling. We woke up to no internet. It started working again before I had a chance to call our service, and my relief was monumental. They say “don’t sweat the small stuff”, but the small stuff can feel enormous.

I want to believe that I can achieve balance, that there are enough hours in the day for work and play, chores and rest, with plenty left over for creating and dreaming. But most days are not balanced. Something dominates my day, becomes the focus, eats up my time, energy, and attention. The only semblance of balance I can get is across weeks or months, and the way I get a novel written despite life’s recurring catastrophes is by writing for at least for a few minutes no matter what’s going on.

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Published by

Kit Dunsmore

Kit Dunsmore has believed in the magic underlying the muggle world since she was a child searching for the Shetland pony pooka she was sure was hiding in her back yard. She learned early on that books were magic doors into other worlds, and that she could revisit a beloved character or place by opening the right book. As she grew, she decided she wanted to make magic with words, too. Today Kit writes about things she loves: poodles and dragons, witches and artists, quirky underdogs and loyal friends. Whether her setting is 6th-century England, the imaginary Twelve Kingdoms, or an art-obsessed version of modern America, magic always finds its way into her story. She enjoys turning fairy tales inside out and watching characters sacrifice everything to reach their goal, but she also believes in happy endings. When she isn't writing, Kit experiences magic by making things with her hands. Over the years, she's made quilts, fabric sculptures, collages, sweaters, and blank books. Her newest interest is learning how to spin her own yarn, a skill guaranteed to strengthen one of her many delusions: that she is a self-sufficient pioneer woman. She also thinks she is a hobbit, a witch, an artist, and a good cook. Living in the foothills of Colorado, Kit enjoys the giant skies and prairie landscapes which suit her need for wide open spaces. In addition to hiking through glorious scenery with her husband or imagining herself living in the Middle Ages, Kit works as a pillow for her miniature poodle and polishes the next small piece of her handmade life.

8 thoughts on “There Is No Balance”

  1. How honest of you to post this! Did it help to write it down? Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed I need to get it out of my head and onto paper. That helps to clarify things for me. I admire you for finding ANY time to write!

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    1. It helped a little. It would help more if my husband were feeling better. Unfortunately, he’s still sick and things are uncertain. My writing time is definitely limited right now. As my friends have reminded me, there are times when other things have to take precedence. I will write again when I can.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As someone once said, “The only time I see the middle of the road is when I’m passing it”. Same for balance. Most of the time I find I simply must stop thinking about what I want to do and do what’s in front of me. At other times I find I must change what’s in front of me.

    I love your writing Kit. Hope Kurt is feeling better.

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    1. I love the “middle of the road” saying! And thanks for your kind words. Kurt is still sick but we hope he is over the worst of it.

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