Missing: A Plot of Any Kind Whatsoever

Dear Plot,

Where are you?!?

I know it’s only Day 3 of NaNoWriMo. I know you’re shy. But I won’t hurt you. Please, take off the Cloak of Invisibility and come out of hiding, because I really need your help. I can’t just keep sending my main character through her day without anything interesting happening

Sure, having superheroes show up to help when she was struggling with a hard writing assignment was cute. Having the solution to her problems be making the scene center on a kosher dill was even cuter. But dinner with the parents? It did introduce some frustration and humor, but it’s hardly a major plot point.  It would be nice if something dramatic happened, oh, sometime in the next 45,000 words. Feel free to throw a wrench in the works and mess everything up. Just please throw something.

While I’m being needy, I’d also like to ask you to please, if at all possible, keep the pug-eyed art teacher from becoming a main character. Except for his funky eyes and the way he doesn’t look at you, there is nothing interesting about him. Considering this story is proving so devoid of interest already, the last thing I need is a boring teacher taking over the show.

I also need you to protect me from the negative talk the super villain is using to demoralize M.T., my struggling writer. I didn’t expect Conversation Cat’s comments about the stupidity of what was being written to cut to the bone like that. So I could use a little distance, maybe some extreme humor, to keep her harsh words from undermining this entire project. If necessary, send Action Man and Dialogue Dog to my house to give me a hand.

I hope you can hear the desperation in my voice, because I am feeling really desperate! If you will just come out, I promise to do everything in my power to love and cherish you. I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care how silly things get, as long as something happens so I don’t die of boredom. You can even include the pug-eyed teacher if you want. Only please, please show up and help me out.

27 days is a long time to write without you.

Hoping you have a kind heart and will take pity on me,
Your frightened author

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